How not to commit sexual harassment

Bob-Filner-ApologySan Diego Mayor Bob Filner, a Democrat who keeps getting caught in his own zipper, has  a lawyer who says his client’s employer, the city of San Diego, is at least partially liable for the mayor’s bad behavior because the city of San Diego never trained Filner not to commit sexual harassment. The city, says Filner’s attorney, should have provided some kind of guidance as to how to behave around the laaaadies. For otherwise? Ol’ Bob was left hanging in the wind.

So here’s a little help, Bob. Based on your previous behavior, do not:

  • Lick a person’s cheek unless s/he specifically asks you to.
  • Ask a married person out on a date, unless that person is married to you.
  • Grab any one’s buttocks, other than your own and then only in the privacy of your home.
  • Say nasty stuff to people that you wouldn’t say in front of your grandmother.

You’re welcome, Bob I hope this helps.


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12 Responses to How not to commit sexual harassment

  1. sharon says:

    Ah, the old Ignorance defense! Or is it the White Male Privilege defense? They sound an awful lot alike.

  2. Tim Sullivan says:

    I would initially think it was a desperate plea for help from someone trapped in a loveless relationship… but after reading the defense I am going with the perv classification. How does anyone get to a place where the body of someone else at work is okay to handle?

  3. Cynical Susan says:

    You have this under a “Girl Stuff” heading — I’D say it should be under a “Boy Stuff — things you should damn well know from the time you’re crawling, so don’t give us any excuses” heading.

  4. Cynical Susan says:

    Politician Spots Young Female Aide, And So It Begins
    THE ONION ISSUE 49•31 • Jul 30, 2013

    WASHINGTON—While attending a legislative strategy session this afternoon, Virginia congressman Alan James reportedly caught sight of a young female aide in attendance and, ah, sources confirmed, so it begins. “Hi, I’m Representative James—it’s a pleasure to have you working with us,” the 48-year-old politician reportedly said to the recent college graduate following the meeting, eliciting from her a shy, flattered response and a flush of her cheeks, the first soft steps in a delicate dance that has unfolded with elegant precision time and again for untold generations. “I have a good sense about these things, and I can tell that you’re going to be an important member of our team, and I’m going to personally make sure you’re involved in all aspects of my policies and campaign. I very much look forward to working closely with you.” With the fated events set in motion, sources reported that the congressman moved on to the requisite second movement of the time-honored performance, in which he retired to his office and told his manager to call his wife to tell her he had to work late.

  5. DickG says:

    I figure that he will come to his senses soon and reject his lawyer’s beyond-stupid defense.

    I think he will do what most others have done, and that is to “find” Jesus. Yup, I figure he is headed to being “reborn” as a fine Christian.

    Really. Has anybody in this country EVER claimed to have adopted any religion other than Christianity to escape blame? Ever?

    I hate fake Christians. Hate ’em. Why? Very simply because they sully some very fine ideas and attitudes.

  6. Cynical Susan says:

    BTW, there’s a long story in the latest New Yorker about the Steubenville case. It includes the following:

    “Rape culture” is not an empty term or an imaginary phenomenon. According to a survey published by the Centers for Disease Control in 2011, one in five American women have been raped or experienced attempted rape. In May, the officer in charge of preventing sexual assault in the U.S. Air Force was arrested for groping a woman in a parking lot. Two days later, the Pentagon released a poll of a hundred and eight thousand active-duty service members showing that twenty-six thousand had been sexually assaulted. Worldwide, women between fifteen and forty-four are more likely to be injured or die from male violence than from traffic accidents, cancer, malaria, and the effects of war combined. This sustained brutality would be impossible without a culture that enables it: a value system in which women are currency, and sex is something that men get – or take – from them.

  7. Cynical Susan says:

    Hmm. I think that should have read “True that. And now both have brought attention to different problems.