Jesus was framed, says lawyer with strange cares

You're out of order! This whole trial's out of order!

You’re out of order! This whole trial’s out of order!

Dola Indidis, a Kenyan lawyer, is not happy with a court case that led to the execution of an obscure provincial carpenter for a variety of crimes against the state. You have already guessed that the carpenter was Jesus, the state was Rome, and the lawyer needs a hobby.

Indidis is petitioning the International Court of Justice to overturn the circa 33 A.D. verdict against Jesus, which the Catholic lawyer was a “selective and malicious persecution” that violated Jesus’ human rights, although, since Catholics believe Jesus has two natures, human and divine, would it not also violate his divine rights? A theological puzzler!

Indidis, who has also been a spokesman for the Kenyan national judiciary, is also seeking to sue the Republic of Italy, the State of Israel, King Herod, and the Emperor Tiberius, despite the latter two being dead for roughly 1,900 years.

It is not clear which judicial body has authority over the decisions of defunct empires, but a court in Nairobi already dismissed Indidis’ claim, because it is bonkers. He is now trying his luck with the Netherlands-based ICJ, which has refused to confirm or deny whether it has received the petition.

As the Religion News Service story notes, “The Rev. Maloba Wesonga, a spokesman for the Catholic Archdiocese of Nairobi, said the exercise was futile, at least from a theological point of view.”


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4 Responses to Jesus was framed, says lawyer with strange cares

  1. Doug says:

    I believe the fall of Rome may have pre-empted his case, no?

    • Tom Breen says:

      Yeah, it’s kind of like those people who petition the governor every year to pardon the people killed as witches in Connecticut. This is no longer a Crown colony (and some of those people were killed under the short-lived English Republic, which raises even more jurisdiction headaches). On the other hand, last year Socrates was retried in Athens (and acquitted!):

  2. Doug says:

    However if this case is granted case action status I officially retract my orevious statement.

  3. Cynical Susan says:

    Wait. Wouldn’t Jesus’ Father be the one to be sued? I mean it was his idea in the first place, wasn’t it?